HI!
im back blogging. i dun know why. but suddenly have the urge. ok im those 3mins kind of person. ok what im a talking about. but oh well. wanted to start on homework. but land my hands on the com instead hahas. thinking a lot lately. and feeling that im going crazy. i get upset by minor things. im weird very weird. and i think that i made everyone dislike me, that im a person hard to communicate with. oh i dunknow. i just feel people get pressurized by me. or is it that i get pressurise myself?? many doubts. maybe im panicking looking at all my friends, classmates moving on. im sacred that i will be left behind. will i?? writing this make me feel my adrenal rush. im worried ok im very worried. im scared that what happen during psle will happen agn. i get separated from my friends, becos i didnt get the same results. but i whenever tell myself to study. its always i let myself down everytime. i alrdy forgotten whats the feeling to accomplish what u have told urself to do, as i have disappoint myself everytime. but why dun i just having hopes on everything?? i hope that i can get results i want. i hope that i will pass all my tests. i hope that i will finish every homework i was given. but everytime i disappoint myself agn and agn. until now i alrdy forgotten the feeling of accomplishing something. haix. im werid. i cared but i act like i dun.

teachers, people, are always saying u have to believe urself and u work towards it. but i always believe myself. but the problem is i cant make myself works towards it. i just cant always do my homeworks firsthand i just cant. and it hurts when the people around u get what ever they have work hard for. u just get disappoint by urself. and ask urself. why cant u just work harder??!! but how many people can really understand that i just cant make myself work hard. i try many ways. give myself timetable encourage myself. but every time i end up doing nth i plan. and see my friends moving on. always get left behind feels bad. i dun wish to excel or be better then others. i just wish that i can be with them on the same step. so i won be alone. is it possible??
wow. i wrote alot today. haha back to the optimistic me. im weird i have two sides. hahas. maybe becos i just like to believe in myself. although im always disappointed by it. and always when u give urself too much hope the harder u will fall when u know it. haix. but what to do thats me^^
ok shall end here. love love