heyheyhey
its friday alrdy. 3 more days to chinese o lvl!! oh gosh im soo nervous even just thinking of it. i wonder what will happen on the actual day. pls bless me that i du get too nervous until i forgot things or get mind block. pls bless me!!!jyjy yingxin. u must not freak out that day. stay calm and just get over and done with. i really dont want to take it agn at end of year. gogogo!! its getting over. just a few more steps. hang on ok!! hehes. shall write till here. wish everyone good luck too^^
bye. lovelove

hello hello
heys!! here to blog. hehes. yesterday forgot to blog. fell aslp hehes. hmm. today i the last day of skool to many. cos holidays coming. yay!! happy for those having. me. sec 4. got o lvl to study for!! urgh. so annoying. how i wish this time will nv come.i dun wan to face it!! just let me remain young forever can?? haix. see how humans are weird species. when they ae really young they will wish to get old faster. but now when they are old they wish they will remain young forever. although im not old lar. just 16. but i think thats the worst. ur caught in between. ur not too old for many fun things. and ur not young for many childish fun things too. its frustrating. yet you cant do anything about it. just wish it will all over soon. haix haix haix. i wish o lvl coluld just vroom pass me. i dun wan to endure all these hardships. maybe to some ppl study is fun. but to me study is ok but the exam part and the taking reults part. is hell. soo scary and nervous. especially before the exam and before taking result. i think i will get high lvl of adrenal rush and just faint off. hahas. just the tought of it give me creeps. haix haix. really dun wan to face it. how???
somemore if 2012 is really true then i was just 18. in my poly or jc yrs. study like mad and have to die ?? without even having any big change. like be a rich woman. hahas or even married. and im dead. its not worth it. but haix haix haix. dunnoe la. but its really quite stupit lo. 18 my life was just about to turn into clubs, parties and stuff. but im going to die. hahas. and all my 10+ yrs of study have gone to waste. so why im i have thinking so much and worrying so much for?
but maybe no matter how i try i cant get good marks how?? im separated from my friends agn how?? haix haix. im so worried. urgh. i feel that im getting older by the minute. nono i should play some game and make myself more childish. enjoy life. hahas
ok stop here. bye. love love

hello hello

hehes. here to post agn. suddenly feel like playing audi. hahas. now patching. so can blog awhile. hehes. em.. wat should i say?? today quite ok. skool was ok but erm... aiya nth to say. my mind thinking of audi and television. so cant think of wat to write. hmm.. hmm.. aiya nth to write la. ok. im gona end here. hehes.

byee love love

hello~!
today here to post agn. hahas. now was suppose to do my homework. but agn don feel like doing. hahas. this few days will be chinese chinese chinese. haix. wan watch tv oso no show for me to watch. nono not no show is no show that i feel like watching hahas. so decided to use com instead. feel very bloated now. keep eating eating eating. i think im getting fatter and fatter. hehes. eat slp eat slp. haix. just feel like shutting my mind dun do any thing just stay and daydream or just slp throughout the day. i think maybe im feeling the pressure of the chinese o lvl. its about 6days away only. i wan to do it once and for all. go yingxin~!! haix. whenever encouraging myself im afraid that i give myself to much hope. oh wat should i do??today feeling quite tired cant seem to focus. wish tmr will be better. fight fight yingxin!
ok end here. bye.love love

HI!
im back blogging. i dun know why. but suddenly have the urge. ok im those 3mins kind of person. ok what im a talking about. but oh well. wanted to start on homework. but land my hands on the com instead hahas. thinking a lot lately. and feeling that im going crazy. i get upset by minor things. im weird very weird. and i think that i made everyone dislike me, that im a person hard to communicate with. oh i dunknow. i just feel people get pressurized by me. or is it that i get pressurise myself?? many doubts. maybe im panicking looking at all my friends, classmates moving on. im sacred that i will be left behind. will i?? writing this make me feel my adrenal rush. im worried ok im very worried. im scared that what happen during psle will happen agn. i get separated from my friends, becos i didnt get the same results. but i whenever tell myself to study. its always i let myself down everytime. i alrdy forgotten whats the feeling to accomplish what u have told urself to do, as i have disappoint myself everytime. but why dun i just having hopes on everything?? i hope that i can get results i want. i hope that i will pass all my tests. i hope that i will finish every homework i was given. but everytime i disappoint myself agn and agn. until now i alrdy forgotten the feeling of accomplishing something. haix. im werid. i cared but i act like i dun.

teachers, people, are always saying u have to believe urself and u work towards it. but i always believe myself. but the problem is i cant make myself works towards it. i just cant always do my homeworks firsthand i just cant. and it hurts when the people around u get what ever they have work hard for. u just get disappoint by urself. and ask urself. why cant u just work harder??!! but how many people can really understand that i just cant make myself work hard. i try many ways. give myself timetable encourage myself. but every time i end up doing nth i plan. and see my friends moving on. always get left behind feels bad. i dun wish to excel or be better then others. i just wish that i can be with them on the same step. so i won be alone. is it possible??
wow. i wrote alot today. haha back to the optimistic me. im weird i have two sides. hahas. maybe becos i just like to believe in myself. although im always disappointed by it. and always when u give urself too much hope the harder u will fall when u know it. haix. but what to do thats me^^
ok shall end here. love love